It's Been a Year

I began 2022 with a goal that I actually completed. I took charge of my health and got checked out from top to bottom. Literally. 

Not only did I ensure that I have no hidden issues, I feel like I accomplished many things over the year.  I love crossing stuff off a list. It gives me joy to set my mind on a task and complete it, even if it's just folding that load of towels in the dryer.

My biggest accomplishment was getting a handle on my mental health. I saw pictures of myself from the Fall of last year. I looked better than I do currently. I was hiding everything so well that I even had my face convinced that I was OK. Now my brain feels better and it looks like it aged me. 

So now that I am deep in mental health recovery, what's next? Bungee jumping? Ballroom dancing? Only Fans? Nothing so exciting. I'm just going to be me. Do I have some new (possibly outlandish) goals for 2023? Of course. 

More reading, learning, questioning, researching, advocating, discussing, and all around attempting to become a Renaissance Man. Woman. Person. Renaissance Person. Like DaVinci with boobs. I have a year to accomplish this. That's doable, right?

So that's all. If you've stayed with this all year, congrats. Your life is as boring as mine. 

Whatever you decide to do for your New Year's resolutions/goals/intentions please be sure to include something about your health. I don't mean the typical "lose 30 lbs. by summer." Talk to a mental health professional, get that procedure you've been putting off, have a dermatologist look at that mole, book a spa day. 

While I ultimately did this year of Health for me, I hope I convinced a few of you to follow through on some things.  I sincerely hope you at least considered doing something for yourself. You are important. 

💚

I Forgot!!!!!

It took me 11 months, but I finally forgot to do a monthly health check-in. I don't see this as a loss, however, but as a win against any health concerns I may have had. Not to mention I think I've hit all the major body parts one could investigate in a preventative way.  With that said, I'll keep this short.

I did have my 6-month dentist appointment in November. That went well, even with a chipped tooth. I also went back to the GYN for some minor things. That did not go well. Not with me, physically, but with the doctor and her nurse. They were very dismissive and kind of annoyed that I was there wasting their time. I'll leave out the intimate details, but I will tell you I won't be going back to that doctor again. 

A few months back, my therapist and I decided that I was good to go for dropping to bimonthly sessions as things were looking better and I was getting a grip on things. At our last session, we agreed to further drop it to once per month.  

I began the year as a hot mess that didn't know they were drowning until this wonderful LCSW scooped me out of the quagmire I had built for myself as a flotation device. I kept pulling stuff closer to me as a support system without realizing that it was pulling me further down. She helped me to let things go so that I could freely move again. 

She helped me focus and redirect the energy that I was using to hang on, and put it toward accomplishing something and improving my every day. She saved my life. Not in the Suicidal-I'm-Going-To-End-It-All way (I'm way too witty and sarcastic, and wouldn't dream of depriving people of that), but in the Closing-Off-The-World-And-Becoming-A-Hermit way (although I haven't fully ruled that out if they find a way to get Wi-Fi and a coffee pot to work in a cave).

So one month to go on this Year of Health and I have nothing planned for December.  Looks like it will be a non-medical health month. Singing Christmas songs (poorly), watching Hallmark Christmas Movies (and one Hallmark Hanukkah movie), baking (and eating), Secret Santa (love my team), and relaxing over Christmas break (and lots of painting). 

I started this year off in a bad way, but...

THE PHILLIES WIN THE PENNANT!

Now that I have your attention...

THE PHILLIES WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh my-lanta!  This is so super exciting I can't stand it!!!  We're going to the World Series and this is amazing.  Philly sports is phenomenal right now (except for the Sixers, which is fine since I'm not a basketball fan).  Sports in Philly is more unifying than any other subject. We could all agree on things political, musical, and ecumenical, but nothing binds this town like our teams. The city needs to stop wasting its grease on the poles because nothing is going to stop us when our teams are on fire. 

 

I still love my job, although I've gone from supervising children to supervising adults. It's more difficult than I thought it would be. I'd like to take this opportunity to offer some words of advice.

For the love of all that is holy, UPDATE YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION on your child's file. The amount of incorrect phone numbers and email addresses that I've encountered so far this year is unbelievable. That makes my job quite difficult and will ultimately lead to me showing up at your house with paperwork and a pen. If I have to go out of my way to do this, you better offer me some good snacks. 

Also, if the school asks you to call them back, CALL THEM BACK. You can't tell me you don't have 2.5 minutes to verify something. Again, this may lead to someone showing up at your door requesting your signature and a snack. What if there were a true emergency?!?!?!?!?!? You'd be SOL.

Speaking of work, this is what happens when you let a Millennial and a GenX work together:

                  

Millennial: I want to decorate!
GenX: I'm up for whatever. 

This month's health break is brought to you by the letter C. Not only is C for Cookie, but it's also for Chiropractor. I feel relaxed, taller, and happy when I leave my chiropractor. It's a wonderful way to get yourself back on track. It's not weird, crazy hippie magic like some people believe. Although it kinda is, and I'm down for that. Look how complicated we are under our skin. I highly recommend Dr. Philip Demond in Delaware to help you out. 

So to sum up: Find a good chiropractor, do some holiday crafting, update your child's information, bake me some Toll House cookies, and I'll meet you at Frankford and Cottman when we win the World Series. We'll go to Mayfair Diner afterward for breakfast. 

Shanah Tovah

I sat outside on this GORGEOUS Rosh Hashana and thought about what a difference a year makes. I thought about why in this year of health, September is the most healthy I've felt in quite a while. There are a few reasons why, and they're pretty basic. They had to be basic, as I have no means or fortitude to do something extravagant.

One reason was that I made a dedication to myself. That's how this started. I decided on ME. Suck it up and move on had always been my motto. That wasn't working anymore so I had to find something better. Right around this time last year is when I found it. It was just Me, all along. That sounds so stupid and self-serving and I'm OK with that.  It's what I needed.

Prior to therapy, I could not have admitted that. I would have beaten myself up for it, called myself selfish, and generally looked poorly at myself. After therapy? Don't care! Also, as a woman of a certain age...Don't care!  It's all about me, baby. OK, that's a bit much, but you get the idea. It's the O2 mask on a crashing plane concept, except I was the plane. 

Last year I reconnected (in person, no less!) with friends I hadn't seen in a while and it was great. It really was wonderful. Of course, we've stayed in contact via social media, but seeing my high school and college friends face to face was amazing. Part of this wellness kick I've been on can be attributed to them. Actually, they were the impetus. Thank you. 

Another reason I'm feeling better is that I left teaching. That was so hard. Just an unfathomably difficult decision. My therapist is a proponent of Pro/Con lists and she helped me work through this. It was quite a lopsided list so I went for it and I don't miss the classroom at all. 

I F&*@ing LOVE my job. I don't have the Sunday Scaries anymore. I don't lose sleep over other people's kids. I'm still in education and see the students every day, which was important to me. I actually look forward to going to work every single day. I have first-grade lunch duty and they are adorable. I had one girl ask me for a piece of ketchup last week. 

An additional reason for the better health, and one I find interesting, is that now my insides are taken care of, I want my outsides to match. I want to look outwardly, like I feel inwardly.  I want to tone up, wear clothes that actually fit, improve my posture, put effort (minor effort) into my hair and makeup, clean up these scars* on my legs, and in the meantime, be happy with how I am right now. 

I've got my insides medically checked out from head to toe, it's time to work on the outside. 95% of my meetings are on Zoom and I need to step it up a bit. 

I spent today giving myself a home salon day. Not as good as Salon Salon from the pics I've seen (Hi, Sarah!). I did a manicure with new nail colors for Fall, including CHOPPING THEM ALL OFF. I love short nails with dark polish in the colder months. I realize Halloween witches are supposed to have long, pointy nails, but this witch likes them short and dark. Since it's still flip-flop weather the toenails are also freshly painted. I can't stand unpainted toes in open-toed shoes. Bleh. 

The grey is covered again. Every other month I contemplate just letting it all go grey and I can't bring myself to do it. If I knew my hair would turn out as beautiful as some of my friends' full grey I'd do it (looking at you, Sue). I like color in my own hair. I don't have a dedicated brand or color. I grab the box off the shelf according to my mood. I don't think I'll use this brand again, though. It smells like the Spic and Span we used to scrub the kitchen floor as kids. On our hands and knees. Uphill both ways. In the snow.

  

I have a friend, Denise, who writes very insightful posts every Sunday morning and I look forward to them each week. They make me think and sometimes giggle. She is always OK with how she is right now. If not, she does a great job hiding it. I had my own thought this week and it reminded me of something my friend would say. When you feel safe, you feel comfortable. You can BE comfortable. 

You may need to pop outside of your surroundings to find the safety you need to be comfortable. Maybe you need to create that space inside where you already exist. Create your own safe space. Create your own comfortable. Make sure you have somewhere that you can be YOU: A friend's house, a cafe open mike night, a secret social media account, a D&D club, a rock band, an Only Fans account. There's only one you. Make it a good one. 

Happy New Year

*I am one of those people who attracts mosquitos. I've also become allergic to them (and crabs, which sucks). I have 103 mosquito bites from my waist down and bruising due to the furious scratching of said bites. The scabs are coming off and the bruises are healing, but now there are scars. Age does weird things to a body, and I've noticed scars are taking an extremely long time to fade. Here's hoping Palmer's skin therapy oil works. Could be worse; I could have malaria.

 

Here we are again, Lord

Today was the first day for students at my school. It was crazy, hectic, busy, and fun. I saw a few of my kids from last year, which was nice. I didn't see TS. 😢😢 He's in another school district so I can't even spy on him. I'll miss our conversations. 

This behind-the-scenes-of-teaching job I now have is a different sort of pressure than teaching, itself. Not worse, just different. It's a lot of problem-solving which I enjoy. That's the nerd in me who solves Sudoku puzzles, plays word games, and enjoys the analytic side of math. I also like the backstage, behind the curtain stuff. I'm always checking out IMDB. I want to know how the show happens; what makes it run. I saw Phantom of the Opera twice so that the second time I could watch things formulate around the theater. This position is perfect for all of this. Trying to fit the pieces into their respective holes while putting out fires. 

Funny story: On my first day here at Park in 2018, I had a nosebleed in our back-to-school faculty meeting. Stress? Allergies? Who knows. Last week during the first back-to-school faculty meeting with a new position...nosebleed.  

It's uncomfortable being in a new place or situation. You need to find your way around and make sure you're not Godzilla destroying things in the effort. I told my friend that I felt like I was flying a plane with no lessons-just flipping switches and hoping not to crash. That's really how we get through life, isn't it? 

The most uncomfortable thing about the first day last week? My bra. Honestly. I picked and pulled at that thing all day! I went shopping for new ones and have a suggestion for retailers: Display these items by size and not by manufacturer. That way, I don't have to pick through the band-aid and string sizes to find the battle armor I need. 

My health thing for this month was a facial. It was incredibly relaxing. She asked if I was having any problems I wanted to work on. I told her, "Gravity" so she did a hydrating session. I could have stayed there all day. The little shoulder massage and the hot towel on my face was perfect. 

Dramatic reenactment: 

Remember, health doesn't need to be about doctors, pharmaceuticals, therapists, or tests. It can be indulging in something that is just for you. 

Oh! Speaking of that, my therapist and I decided that I do not need to see each other weekly and we're doing every other week. Either I'm feeling better or I've got her fooled. 

This weekend is the unofficial end of the summer. According to Walmart, that started weeks ago. Halloween, pumpkin spiced toothpaste, and fall clothing is everywhere. It's my favorite season. Summer is great for recouping some energy, but Autumn is envigorating. I know some people complain that other people push this season too early. However, after the last few years we've endured together, the world is a hot mess and we should celebrate whatever, whenever.  I'm making Irish Soda Bread this week, simply because I want to. Slainte! 

July: In Pictures

Health isn't always about doctors. 

  

TMI (You Were Warned)

Summer started with a bang this month, and I kinda hope it continues.  I checked out on Monday's last day of school, happy to be done, and tinged with a bit of sadness for the unknown of the next school year. 

My first day of summer is typically spent sleeping late, eating junk, and watching crap TV all day.  Instead, I was up early for a job interview (!) that I attended over Zoom in the local Starbucks because it was raining. Because of where I live, my Internet comes through a dish on my roof. When it rains, the Internet stops working. It wouldn't have been so bad, but in the middle of my interview, the Starbucks playlist spit out Let It Go, and while Idina Menzel is an incredible singer, that's all anyone on the Zoom call could hear. I wasn't happy about the rest of the interview, either. I felt like I was on edge the whole time. So I got to obsess about that. 

Wednesday, I was back on my road to better health.  My GYN made a passing mention of a procedure back in March, and I half-heartedly agreed to it, fully intending to not do it.  As it turns out, she contacted the doctor, who contacted me. Fine. I'll do it. I'll make a blog post out of it.  

That's how I ended up with a colonoscopy appointment. 

The prep for this started the week before the procedure. No fruits or veggies, seeds, or nuts for the whole week. I eat fruit every day and salads, seeds, and nuts several days each week. Good thing cheese and ice cream are low in fiber. 

I woke up Thursday and had 2 hard-boiled eggs and coffee. That was it, my last supper (breakfast). No more solid food. My human nurse ran out and picked up Jello, bullion, broth, Sprite, and popsicles. Two Jello cups and a bowl of bullion later and I was ready to begin.  

At 3 pm I took 4 Dulcolax tablets and prepared for the worst. At 3:30, the worse commenced. I had to drink 64 oz of water mixed with an 18 oz bottle of Miralax, 8 oz at a time every 20 minutes.  Tasteless but tedious. At 9 pm I took 2 Gas-X pills and immediately threw up. Before this, the Miralax had started to work its magic, and at this point, I was eliminating from both ends simultaneously. The whole thing takes a lot out of a person (no pun intended).  Imagine eating Taco Bell for three days and having it all leave your body at once. Luckily my feline nurse was unfazed by all and accompanied me on every trip to the bathroom. She was very helpful. 

I crawled into bed at 11 hoping for a few hours of sleep before I had to get up at 4. I nodded off for 30 mins and suddenly awoke to...leakage. Before you fall asleep while doing the prep, make sure you're all done visiting the bathroom.  Also, make sure your feline nurse isn't sleeping on top of you so that you don't fling her off when you jump out of bed.

Four in the morning is too early to be doing anything other than getting home from a night out with a stop at the diner.  Unfortunately, those days are probably behind me and now 4 in the morning is for drinking 10 oz of magnesium citrate. Super delicious. 

Everyone was right: The prep was the toughest part. They wheeled me in, gave me the IV, and rolled me on my side. The last thing I remember was looking up at the monitor and excitedly asking if I was going to be able to watch the procedure. Then they woke me up and wheeled me to Recovery. Never again. Maybe if they find a way to do this via CT scan or PET scan I'll reconsider. 

That was just week one of summer. Week two was just as fun. And maddening. 

During the school year, I was summoned to jury duty. There was no way I was taking time off from work to do this. Finding a sub for one day to take my class (or anyone's class) is impossible. Cecil County signs you up for a week of possible duty. Nope. I asked to change the dates of service and scheduled it for the week after school let out. I was thrilled to find out every night when I called in, that I wasn't needed. I didn't even have to go to the courthouse. Instead, I got caught up on things around the house and accomplished some baking and cooking. So much better than sitting in the basement of the courthouse with a bunch of strangers. 

On Saturday I ran my first 5k in three years. I was excited and nervous. My goals were to finish and enjoy myself. I accomplished that and I am looking forward to next month's race. I just hope my nephew isn't embarrassed when I smoke him on the course. I'll let him have my beer in consolation.

On the other hand, that week was infuriating. The gun debate and Roe v. Wade debate were both ruled on at the end of the week. SCOTUS expanded gun rights and diminished abortion rights. So 6 judges are representing their base, and not the actual people of the country. They feel the unborn should be protected, but then screw you all thereafter.

A woman humiliated or devastated by rape, incest, ectopic pregnancy, or any other reason, including religious (AND IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS) may have no choice now other than a risky procedure, traveling to a distant state, or forced birth. This is disgusting. Many women (and yes, some men) will be seriously injured or die because of this. It will put additional strain on our healthcare and social services. The physical and mental health of the adults, the physical health of the children, the lack of foster homes and people willing to adopt (and the laws that make it illegal for some to adopt--god forbid the gayness rubs off on the child), the abusive home situations, education resources, poverty and crime resources...it's all too much. 

Maybe now that gun restrictions are easing up, that will help take care of these problems. 

I suppose My Body, My Choice applies only to masks and vaccines. 

Finally, I wrapped up the beginning of my summer with a mammogram this morning. Why not, right? Let's get all this stuff out of the way at once. It's very classy to flop your cat-scratched boob up on a tray while simultaneously leaning in with your shoulder and bending backward and sticking your butt out to get the rest of you out of the way. 

So to sum up: No polyps and no cancer, I got the job!!!!!!!, no jury duty for a while, I'm back to running races, this country is insane, and my boobs hurt. 

See you next month.