I decided to not make any resolutions for 2022. I typically don't keep them past January anyway. I forget or get sidetracked or just give up. This year I decided to have a Word of the Year and that will be my focus. A theme for the year, I guess. My word is HEALTH.
I neglect my health constantly, shrugging off things as no big deal, or I'll get to it later. I'm not big on going to the doctor, especially if I know what's wrong or it's something small. There are people in life who need to see a doctor for more serious matters and that's who should be going. I feel like I'm taking up space.
Recently something has prompted me to take a better look at myself and my health. Is it because of the pandemic? No. Is it because I suddenly feel like I'm important? No. I still feel selfish for bugging professionals with my measly medical needs. Is it because I'm old? Probably. I also blame mirrors.
I don't remember the last time I had a physical. I haven't been to the dentist since before March 2020 (I was slated to go in March, then everything shut down). My nether eh-ya? HA!
So over the last two weeks, I bit the bullet and made some appointments. I have the dentist in January, the dermatologist in February, the GYN in March, the eye doctor in April, and of course, the Semi-Annual Boob Squish in the summer. Those appointments were all easy to make. The final appointment I needed took me about a month of working up the courage.
I tout mental health on my Facebook page and am an advocate for it. Mental Health is health. I'm not ashamed that I take medication daily to help keep me sane. I work with a population of students who often require medication to help them navigate through life. They all know I take mine every day and so they should be taking theirs. So why was making an appointment with a therapist so difficult for me?
It came down to being perceived as feeling needy, or that my problems were so much less than other people's problems. There are seriously mentally ill people in our world and I should just be thankful that I'm not suffering like they are. Those are the people who need the help. Not me.
Then I reflected on how I've been feeling lately, and it's not good. "Suck it up and move on" wasn't working anymore. Depression and anger were staying around longer than normal. Everything was irritating. I didn't want to be bothered by anyone. I wanted to be left alone. I was forgetting things. I stopped painting. It occurred to me that this was something more than being in a funk.
After a few weeks of research and bribing myself to make contact, I got in touch with a local group of therapists to set up an appointment. They have a 4-week waiting list and I'm OK with that. I am not a danger to myself or others (except slow drivers in the left lane on 95). Just having made that first step already has me feeling better.
My point with all this is that your health includes your mental health. Don't forget that. Maybe even start there. Take stock of how you've been feeling lately. Don't dismiss it as "just the pandemic" or "just the holidays." COVID isn't going anywhere and there's always a holiday.
Take time for yourself. You are important. You matter. Stop worrying about what other people think. If you are reading this, you are important to me. My DMs are open if you need to slide in and vent and use all caps to scream and yell about something. No judgment.
Happy New Year! 💕
