Bad Moon Rising

I see the bad moon arising / I see trouble on the way / I see earthquakes and lightnin’ / I see bad times today.  ~John Fogerty

Holy shit, if this doesn't describe my classroom today.  Maybe, also, dumpster fire.  That may work as well.  I follow Fixing Education (@WhyTeaching) on Twitter and this Tweet today nailed it: "One of my biggest struggles is having to keep from screaming profanities at my students."  When I stumbled into the lunch room at 12:30 after being called a bitch in Spanish (like I don't know what 'puta' means), I googled the moon phases.  Oh yeah, there it is, full moon. 

Why?!  Why does that have impact on people?  It's not just teachers.  Ask any nurse in any hospital and they'll tell you the same thing.  I understand the whole moon phase/tides thing, but for the love of God, could we manage to not let it control us as well?  Oy!

I'm not proud of the way I acted today, specifically this morning.  I owe a kid an apology.  No matter what he did, it's no excuse for the way I acted.  I could have let him know in a different way how his actions were effecting me and the class.  You know what?  I don't feel like apologizing.  I really don't think he deserves it.   I'll still do it because it's the adult thing to do, but I'll hate every second of it.  

I have a meeting tomorrow with the parent of the most troublesome kid in my room.  I have a list of things to talk about.  He's nervous because he doesn't want his mother to know these things, yet he continues to do them.  One minute he's all talk and bravado, the next he's begging me not to talk to her.  He's trying so hard to be the cool kid, the one who doesn't care about anyone or anything.  I still don't know which way to go with him.  I believe in natural consequences, but his actions are impacting others in the room. 

I keep reminding myself that we're only a month into the year, but at the same time we're already a month into the year.  Does that make sense?  When is this going to gel?  When will all the kinks be worked out?  Gah!  

Hubby asked me this weekend if I'm overwhelmed...If I have too much to do for this job...If I've bitten off more than I can chew.  Oh yeah, absolutely.  But I'm really enjoying it.  Last year was an extremely stressful, overwhelming year.  Probably the worst in 20 years, and I hated that job by the end.  What's the difference?  Administration.  Plain and simple.  Teachers don't quit schools.  They quit principals and admin.  Aside from being a puta (honestly, the kid's not wrong) I really love this job.  

See you next week.